But, 'mind over matter' was the only real law that exists in this world. Ichigo believed that, because it was what he'd learned through all the pain, the fighting, and the fighting through his own perceived limitations.
He was told it was impossible for a human to become a shinigami. Told it was impossible for a single shinigami to launch an assault on all of Soul Society and win. Told he would never save Rukia. That he would never leave alive.
Then they said a human soul could never bear the burden of being hollow, shinigami, and alive in the Living World at the same time. That he couldn't possibly progress fast enough to make a difference, even if he did manage to harness his vizard's mask.
And later, that Hueco Mundo was a suicide mission. That he would die in the attempt to save Inoue, to save all of his friends, and take them all back home with him.
But somewhere in that bleak, desolate purgatory, even the captains of Soul Society started believing that maybe, just maybe, Ichigo wasn't what they all thought he was, either. Somehow, more people began to believe. And the more that began to believe, to hold onto tenuous, dangerous, desperate hope, the stronger Ichigo was for it.
When even his own father called him out on his own doubts, Ichigo put aside the last of his innocence, his naivete', and followed Kurosaki Isshin into the dengai. Shiro, and Zangetsu then called him out, together, on his fears; his own despair in the belief that he, that Ichigo, wouldn't be able to stop Aizen.
Somewhere in that watery world, Ichigo shed his fears. Shed doubts. Shed everything in one explosive, dawning realization; the world was not as he thought. And limitations, for him at least, only existed in his mind.
So he met Aizen on the battlefield at peace with himself. With his decision. And he did not second guess. Not even when Aizen did not die, and was instead imprisoned. Oh, he had regrets, and who wouldn't? He regretted the necessity of giving up his powers in that way, but when there is no one to blame, and nothing to point to as the clear 'enemy' in the battle with one's self, it took a little longer than he thought it would for the shock of normalcy to settle in. For his thinking to finally emerge from constant 'crisis mode' to blank numbness. And when he did finally feel like he was teetering on the edge of a great, sucking despair once again? There were his friends. All of his friends; the shinigami, the humans ones, and everything in between to give him that little bit of extra belief to carry him through to becoming confident with himself again.
After so long, and so many times proving that he could, and would do the impossible, how could Shiro still, still only be seeing the world through the filter of fear?
A flare of anger, mostly born from that same stubborn will that had been forged in the hell of Hueco Mundo, tempered against the cold shock of realizing that he, Ichigo, was strong enough to stand apart from hollow, and shinigami both, and hammered against the anvil of despair passed through him. You're a part of him, Shiro. But Ichigo shed his own doubts in himself a long time ago. He wasn't about to go wallowing in them again over 'what might happen', or 'what could be'. The unknown was no longer frightening to him anymore.
Tightening his hold on Shiro's chin, Ichigo forced the hollow to look at him. Forced Shiro through the weight of that resolve, that will made of tempered steel, to look at his eyes, more than the hand on the hollow's chin, and scowled.
"I've never broken a promise. Not to you, not to anybody. And you can hang onto your own resentment over how long it took me, or what had to happen to make sure that I could have the power to do what I needed to, but don't you ever, ever tell me that I make promises I can't keep.
I always keep them. No matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts.
And even if you've stopped believing in me, I still believe in myself. If you don't want to heal the damage that happens in the process of keeping those promises, then you go ahead, and stop. I've done without being healed up when I take a beating, and I can do it again.
But if you don't believe in me, if you of all people have stopped trusting that I - that we - can fight through anything, overcome anything, then that's something you need to face, and fight through with yourself.
You're the one who taught me that doubt doesn't have a place in my life anymore."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-03-06 06:02 am (UTC)He was told it was impossible for a human to become a shinigami. Told it was impossible for a single shinigami to launch an assault on all of Soul Society and win. Told he would never save Rukia. That he would never leave alive.
Then they said a human soul could never bear the burden of being hollow, shinigami, and alive in the Living World at the same time. That he couldn't possibly progress fast enough to make a difference, even if he did manage to harness his vizard's mask.
And later, that Hueco Mundo was a suicide mission. That he would die in the attempt to save Inoue, to save all of his friends, and take them all back home with him.
But somewhere in that bleak, desolate purgatory, even the captains of Soul Society started believing that maybe, just maybe, Ichigo wasn't what they all thought he was, either.
Somehow, more people began to believe. And the more that began to believe, to hold onto tenuous, dangerous, desperate hope, the stronger Ichigo was for it.
When even his own father called him out on his own doubts, Ichigo put aside the last of his innocence, his naivete', and followed Kurosaki Isshin into the dengai.
Shiro, and Zangetsu then called him out, together, on his fears; his own despair in the belief that he, that Ichigo, wouldn't be able to stop Aizen.
Somewhere in that watery world, Ichigo shed his fears. Shed doubts. Shed everything in one explosive, dawning realization; the world was not as he thought. And limitations, for him at least, only existed in his mind.
So he met Aizen on the battlefield at peace with himself. With his decision. And he did not second guess. Not even when Aizen did not die, and was instead imprisoned.
Oh, he had regrets, and who wouldn't? He regretted the necessity of giving up his powers in that way, but when there is no one to blame, and nothing to point to as the clear 'enemy' in the battle with one's self, it took a little longer than he thought it would for the shock of normalcy to settle in. For his thinking to finally emerge from constant 'crisis mode' to blank numbness. And when he did finally feel like he was teetering on the edge of a great, sucking despair once again? There were his friends. All of his friends; the shinigami, the humans ones, and everything in between to give him that little bit of extra belief to carry him through to becoming confident with himself again.
After so long, and so many times proving that he could, and would do the impossible, how could Shiro still, still only be seeing the world through the filter of fear?
A flare of anger, mostly born from that same stubborn will that had been forged in the hell of Hueco Mundo, tempered against the cold shock of realizing that he, Ichigo, was strong enough to stand apart from hollow, and shinigami both, and hammered against the anvil of despair passed through him. You're a part of him, Shiro. But Ichigo shed his own doubts in himself a long time ago. He wasn't about to go wallowing in them again over 'what might happen', or 'what could be'. The unknown was no longer frightening to him anymore.
Tightening his hold on Shiro's chin, Ichigo forced the hollow to look at him. Forced Shiro through the weight of that resolve, that will made of tempered steel, to look at his eyes, more than the hand on the hollow's chin, and scowled.
"I've never broken a promise. Not to you, not to anybody. And you can hang onto your own resentment over how long it took me, or what had to happen to make sure that I could have the power to do what I needed to, but don't you ever, ever tell me that I make promises I can't keep.
I always keep them. No matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts.
And even if you've stopped believing in me, I still believe in myself. If you don't want to heal the damage that happens in the process of keeping those promises, then you go ahead, and stop. I've done without being healed up when I take a beating, and I can do it again.
But if you don't believe in me, if you of all people have stopped trusting that I - that we - can fight through anything, overcome anything, then that's something you need to face, and fight through with yourself.
You're the one who taught me that doubt doesn't have a place in my life anymore."