Shiro had been strong when Ichigo needed it. He'd been fearless, limitless, unburdened, free. Now those roles had been reversed, though not quite to the same extreme. Shiro was not in the throes of despair. But he did feel fear.
A new emotion, or relatively new. Strange, foreign, and terrible; a shadowy monster with its claws firmly around Shiro's heart. The fear of losing Ichigo, as remote and unlikely as it was, was crippling.
And every time he came home with more scars, bloody, broken, for apparently no reason, that fear raised its ugly head again, dug in a little tighter. The Hollow isn't immune to fear, to worry. How long would that dumb luck hold? Could it hold forever? Being out in the "real" world, and not constantly bathed in Ichigo's thoughts and feelings as deeply as before had negative effects too. Mainly, bringing insecurity to the surface.
Shiro closes his eyes when Ichigo jerks his head. He doesn't want to look, because he knows those eyes will change his mind.
Where does the conquered fear go? It never really dies. It scurries off to dark corners, to wait, and lick its wounds... then pounce where it can.
But Shiro does open his eyes, gold and hurt looking, and he can feel Ichigo's resolve burning through his fear like a brand, banishing it back to the corners of his heart. Then guilt, over feeling worry and resentment in the first place. Eyes avert again, and the Hollow remains silent.
What can he say to that? He won't abandon Ichigo, ever. He wouldn't even if he could. It wasn't that his belief ever faltered... it just shook, sometimes.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-03-06 06:54 am (UTC)A new emotion, or relatively new. Strange, foreign, and terrible; a shadowy monster with its claws firmly around Shiro's heart. The fear of losing Ichigo, as remote and unlikely as it was, was crippling.
And every time he came home with more scars, bloody, broken, for apparently no reason, that fear raised its ugly head again, dug in a little tighter. The Hollow isn't immune to fear, to worry. How long would that dumb luck hold? Could it hold forever? Being out in the "real" world, and not constantly bathed in Ichigo's thoughts and feelings as deeply as before had negative effects too. Mainly, bringing insecurity to the surface.
Shiro closes his eyes when Ichigo jerks his head. He doesn't want to look, because he knows those eyes will change his mind.
Where does the conquered fear go? It never really dies. It scurries off to dark corners, to wait, and lick its wounds... then pounce where it can.
But Shiro does open his eyes, gold and hurt looking, and he can feel Ichigo's resolve burning through his fear like a brand, banishing it back to the corners of his heart. Then guilt, over feeling worry and resentment in the first place. Eyes avert again, and the Hollow remains silent.
What can he say to that? He won't abandon Ichigo, ever. He wouldn't even if he could. It wasn't that his belief ever faltered... it just shook, sometimes.