More ~*Relationship Steps*~ || ilpromenade NSFW, ANGST AND YAOI W

[savior_n_black]

[ Goddamn, what a day. First, Tatsuki showing up, then Ichigo spent the walk home leveling with her about what he'd been doing. It wasn't that this was particularly difficult in the saying...but it did sort of hammer home that all his work to keep his "normal" life separate from the hollow-hunting, and shinigami war - hell, just the "I see dead people things - was done. He couldn't have that last modicum of self-deluded comfort anymore. Not really.

Well, it's been gone for a while, to be truthful, but...somehow, keeping his life compartmentalized had made it easier to bear in his mind. Still, what's done was done, and despite one moment of something dangerously close to pity in the eye of his childhood friend, Ichigo thought that she'd taken things pretty well.

But, he was tired. Really tired. The sort of soul-deep tired that made him seek solitude. In a full house, with Xion, and now Tatsuki settling in, there was precious little in the way of solitude to be had. He didn't want to go back to Heine's church, either - not yet. Which left the roof. Sitting here, now, watching the first colors of dusk falling over the city of dreams, Ichigo stared out across the patchwork cityscape. If he squinted, and relaxed his eyes, he could make out little shimmering islands in the metropolis; people's Places of Solace shimmering like mirages here, and there. There's more of them, too. So many people, all trapped... ]

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[holeheart]

[Shiro whimpers again when Ichigo rolls off, his sweaty body missing the warmth of the other in the cool night air. But Ichigo actually thinks of something pretty clever. Fluffy sleeping bags are nice.... Shiro snuggles down into it and next to Ichigo so that very little but a shock of white hair sticking out of the top]

Nrrff... too many girls down there... stay up here... for now...

[he wraps his arm around his other, snuggling his forehead against Ichigo's collarbone and chest. It wasn't just sex. It was love. Some sort of love, anyway. Love between family, between brothers? But it was different than that, even deeper than that. Taboo and strange but so damn right for them.

Shiro is content to stay right here. He even dreams up a few of his favorite kinds of pillows; the fluffy kind... and a less fluffy one for Ichigo]

[savior_n_black]

[ It's what lies on the other side of hate. The sort of destructive, obsessive, consuming love that can destroy a lesser man. Because this isn't healthy, not by any stretch of the imagination, and somewhere inside him, Ichigo knew that.
This feeling was escalating, and while it felt good at this moment, there would come a day when it might swallow them both whole. It's taboo alright. Strange in ways that Ichigo can barely comprehend, but knows that the day everyone found out what was happening between him, and his hollow...well. It would end this blissful, visceral, experimental "love". What would happen afterwards, who can say.

Wrapping arms around white shoulders, Ichigo sighed, eyes half-closed against the comforting scent of shampoo, and that elusive something that was just plain Shiro.
It's too much, all of it. But Ichigo's whole life was too much, and maybe he needed it that way.

No surprise, then, that his first experience with "love" would be as strange as his life had become. ]

[holeheart]

[Indeed. It was something so all consuming that it might one day grow out of control and go wild with it. But of course, that's when the both of them operated best, wasn't it? They would find a way.

Or perhaps they wouldn't.

But while Shiro was surprisingly forward-thinking sometimes, tonight was not one of those nights. Maybe he did think about what would happen if anyone were to find out about them . Maybe he had given it some thought. But he didn't care. Right now was all that mattered to him. It was selfish and short-sighted, but he was sick of it, sick of having to be the one who always thought ahead. Considered consequences. That was for when he had nothing but time, and nothing to do with it but think.

Of course not. Nothing that Ichigo ever did was normal. Or right, or something that made any goddamn sense. Ichigo lost his virginity to himself, fell in love with a dark aspect of his own soul.

And that aspect fell in love back. It was all very strange.

Shiro digs his nails into Ichigo's back]