savior_n_black | More ~*Relationship Steps*~ || ilpromenade NSFW, ANGST AND YAOI W

More ~Relationship Steps~ || ilpromenade NSFW, ANGST AND YAOI W

[ Goddamn, what a day. First, Tatsuki showing up, then Ichigo spent the walk home leveling with her about what he'd been doing. It wasn't that this was particularly difficult in the saying...but it did sort of hammer home that all his work to keep his "normal" life separate from the hollow-hunting, and shinigami war - hell, just the "I see dead people things - was done. He couldn't have that last modicum of self-deluded comfort anymore. Not really.

Well, it's been gone for a while, to be truthful, but...somehow, keeping his life compartmentalized had made it easier to bear in his mind. Still, what's done was done, and despite one moment of something dangerously close to pity in the eye of his childhood friend, Ichigo thought that she'd taken things pretty well.

But, he was tired. Really tired. The sort of soul-deep tired that made him seek solitude. In a full house, with Xion, and now Tatsuki settling in, there was precious little in the way of solitude to be had. He didn't want to go back to Heine's church, either - not yet. Which left the roof. Sitting here, now, watching the first colors of dusk falling over the city of dreams, Ichigo stared out across the patchwork cityscape. If he squinted, and relaxed his eyes, he could make out little shimmering islands in the metropolis; people's Places of Solace shimmering like mirages here, and there. There's more of them, too. So many people, all trapped... ]

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[ Still catching his breath, and trying to recall how to use basic motor functions, it's all Ichigo can do to rock his hips back, and finish the motion of pulling out. He can't help the shiver that whisks through him from head to toe at the over-sensitized pleasure just from that little bit of movement alone, but beyond that? Yeah. Not moving from being practically glued to Shiro's chest.

Ichigo is starting to understand what all the fuss over this "sex" business is really about lately. For him, though, it's only about being close. Feeling warm, and strangely...safe. Shaky, and ill-coordinated, but still drawing his knees up to push under his hollow's thighs, and simply rest curled up around Shiro, with his face pressed against a white throat, Ichigo isn't thinking about all the anxiety, the worry, or the doubt that he'd pushed onto Shiro.
For just this moment, everything was...peaceful. ]

[Shiro whines a little when Ichigo finally pulls out, from both minor pain and from feeling... well, empty. He'd been filled to bursting for several minutes now, with Ichigo's cock shoved tightly inside him, and now it was just... gone. It was almost disappointing. It would have been much worse if the Hollow weren't basking in his afterglow.

Shiro always knew that sex would be pretty fantastic. Otherwise why would the humans be going on and on about it all the time? It seemed like so much of their social structure focused on it. And he could see why, now. It was just wonderful. But, like Ichigo, for him it was more about being close, and returning, in a way, to being one with him again. As much as the Hollow enjoyed being his own man, so to speak, he also felt fundamentally wrong sometimes, especially when the distance between them was great. Like this? It was almost like when they were in the same body.

No, more like back when they were the same person; before this strange amalgam that was Them was Ichigo and the Hollow, back when it was just One.

The anxiety, as a matter of fact, is mostly dispelled, here on the rooftops. The Hollow was a literal drain, for everything Ichigo didn't need. Emotions like anxiety and regret and fear more easily slipped away, brushed under. The Hollow purrs audibly, transmitting his pure sense of peace through the Teneka, as he curls around Ichigo in turn; warm body to warm body]

[ After a few minutes, or maybe a few hours ( who can tell ) Ichigo finally sighs, and shifts enough to roll off of Shiro, and onto his back. Wriggling a little, he pulls his pants back up, but doesn't yet bother buttoning them up. Instead? He lets his eyes drift closed, and imagines the feeling of a blanket - both beneath them, and laying over top. Granted, he probably should have done something like this before, and saved himself the bruised kneecaps, but eh. He couldn't dredge up the will to care right now.

The sleeping bag sized for two could have been there the whole time, and now with night coming on, it was greatly appreciated. Not just because Ichigo, and Shiro were nestled together inside like twins, but that was good, too. ]

...Let's stay here, okay? I don't wanna go in, yet.

[ Maybe even stay there all night. Maybe even make love, again ( as corny as it sounded, calling it anything else made it seem base, and somehow...not as important. At least to Ichigo. ) or just hide from everyone, and steal a few hours of peace before dawn. ]

[Shiro whimpers again when Ichigo rolls off, his sweaty body missing the warmth of the other in the cool night air. But Ichigo actually thinks of something pretty clever. Fluffy sleeping bags are nice.... Shiro snuggles down into it and next to Ichigo so that very little but a shock of white hair sticking out of the top]

Nrrff... too many girls down there... stay up here... for now...

[he wraps his arm around his other, snuggling his forehead against Ichigo's collarbone and chest. It wasn't just sex. It was love. Some sort of love, anyway. Love between family, between brothers? But it was different than that, even deeper than that. Taboo and strange but so damn right for them.

Shiro is content to stay right here. He even dreams up a few of his favorite kinds of pillows; the fluffy kind... and a less fluffy one for Ichigo]

[ It's what lies on the other side of hate. The sort of destructive, obsessive, consuming love that can destroy a lesser man. Because this isn't healthy, not by any stretch of the imagination, and somewhere inside him, Ichigo knew that.
This feeling was escalating, and while it felt good at this moment, there would come a day when it might swallow them both whole. It's taboo alright. Strange in ways that Ichigo can barely comprehend, but knows that the day everyone found out what was happening between him, and his hollow...well. It would end this blissful, visceral, experimental "love". What would happen afterwards, who can say.

Wrapping arms around white shoulders, Ichigo sighed, eyes half-closed against the comforting scent of shampoo, and that elusive something that was just plain Shiro.
It's too much, all of it. But Ichigo's whole life was too much, and maybe he needed it that way.

No surprise, then, that his first experience with "love" would be as strange as his life had become. ]

[Indeed. It was something so all consuming that it might one day grow out of control and go wild with it. But of course, that's when the both of them operated best, wasn't it? They would find a way.

Or perhaps they wouldn't.

But while Shiro was surprisingly forward-thinking sometimes, tonight was not one of those nights. Maybe he did think about what would happen if anyone were to find out about them . Maybe he had given it some thought. But he didn't care. Right now was all that mattered to him. It was selfish and short-sighted, but he was sick of it, sick of having to be the one who always thought ahead. Considered consequences. That was for when he had nothing but time, and nothing to do with it but think.

Of course not. Nothing that Ichigo ever did was normal. Or right, or something that made any goddamn sense. Ichigo lost his virginity to himself, fell in love with a dark aspect of his own soul.

And that aspect fell in love back. It was all very strange.

Shiro digs his nails into Ichigo's back]

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